we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
