i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
