If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
only if we run a train.
done.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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