so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
