So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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