Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
