I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Randomize
