Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
