ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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