you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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