Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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