Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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