I'm drive I can fine osifer
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
my poor anus
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
