I wish I could punch you in the face.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize