A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
