Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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