this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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