just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
