so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
there is puke in my bra ... again
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