Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
