i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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