What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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