I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
40s are totally the cure
I just had sex on a roof
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
