that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
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