I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Screwed.edu
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize
