i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Randomize
