You work out of a Hotel?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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