i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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