? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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