id be glad to
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
