i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
