Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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