Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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