Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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