Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I believe in your delicious
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize