Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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