You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
are you so shy because you have an std?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
