I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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