So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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