It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
