So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
