So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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