I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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