maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
