So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize