Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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