His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
