Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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