I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
So vagazzling was a success
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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