So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
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