I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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