Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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