Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
