.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
