Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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