you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
the day after is always just damage control
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize