I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
