I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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