I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We need to rekindle our bromance
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is her dick bigger than yours?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
