pedialite and red bull = repair kit
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
wow bdsm is so cute
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
