best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
