I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
