no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
